This is a pretty honest post from me, and a lot deeper than usual. Its definitely going to be a different post from my other cheerful posts especially since it's right after my posts on vacation. Every summer I get this whole depression type thing. I do not really call it depression since I still get out of bed, I go do things with friends and family or whatever. This summer it is hitting me a little bit harder, and that is because I went to Tennessee. Every since I was little I always said when I grow up I'm moving to Tennessee, I will attend University of Tennessee. Sadly my dream never came true with the college part.
To help you all understand where I am coming from when I talk about Tennessee I want you to close your eyes and picture the most happy, peaceful place that you can think of. Do not just put your mind and body there, but put your whole heart into it. Feel the peace? The happiness? Does it feel like home to you? That is what I feel when I am in Tennessee. I am calm, genuinely happy, I do not have my fake smile on like I do when I'm out and about now. I've always said I feel at home in Tennessee it's not because of the vacations but it really is where I feel like I belong.
When I was there last week, I felt more happier than I ever been for I don't know how long, now that I'm back in Illinois I'm not happy. We all have dreams, some are small others where we can achieve them but others are so big that we may not achieve them. We will never know if we can or cannot do it, unless we try. The one goal I have for me is to save up to get a reliable car and move to Tennessee. Yes, it's a huge step but it is a step that I need in the direction of being happy, and feeling whole again. I know some of you may not understand how just a state can make me feel like a new person, but trust me one day you will find something or someone that will change your life in a drastic and an amazing way.
Now for the depression part, I try to get out with my friends or family, watch videos that make me laugh or anything that makes me forget the depression for just a little while. Each day gets better when you are out doing things and atleast trying. My goal for the rest of the summer is to find a job so I can get my mind off of things and of course to save up for that car.
If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to or anything at all feel free to message me on here or get ahold of me on one of my social network links on the left side of the page. Even a simple stranger can give you a different perspective on life. Always remember you are loved and cared about no matter what.